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Complicated

February 22, 2010

I’m fucking tired.

Seriously.  Tired right down to my bones.  I want to write, but I’m too tired.

Caring about everyone and making sure that all their little pieces are in order is just getting to be a lot.  I have everyone telling me that I need a change, and I just can’t get excited for it.  I don’t need change.  I need a fucking nap.

I’m having some issues with depression.  I know that’s all it is.  I’m sick of living my life for everyone else, leaving nothing there for me.  And the change thing is right and great, but some things just can’t be changed.  I’ve changed too much already.  There’s no fucking room for more change.  I want to move on, but to what?  People think that I’ll just be able to figure everything out, but it’s not that easy when there’s 3 kids that mean the world to me.

Let’s just say that I have a lot of pent up bullshit in my life.  I’m pretty much hating it right now.

I want to sleep.

Just close my fucking eyes and sleep.

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